Monday, March 8, 2010

ew. (and kinda long)

we have mice. that's plural. and gross. and i'm so flipping freaked out by it i can barely type 2 letters before i swat at myself, thinking i feel something crawling on me. omg

here's the story: 2ish weeks ago, h is sitting in her chair at the table eatting breakfast, and i'm doing dishes. because i'm clean like that! and she says, 'a mouse mommy! look!' and i swear to god i see something black in my periphreal (how the h do you spell that d*** word ?!?) so, i do what any other excellent mother of the year would do in my situation (when her hubster is in the back room) and i run to the table, put h on top (mommy, i no want to stand on the table! deal with it!) jump up on a chair and scream
to which he comes running, and asking what is going on, decides to laugh at us and then, like the good man he is, procedes to pull out all the appliances and look behind them. nothing. no mouse. we determine that h is a bit looney - or watching too much tv with 2 parents in school - and the mouse was not real. even though i saw something in my p-word vision.....

h doesn't let it go, though. later that afternoon, she is literally on her belly on the kitchen floor with a flashlight hunting under the cabinets for this GD mouse. so, i go a little crazy, and send james out for a trap. which he sets. and 20 minutes after it's set it goes off. we've caught a mouse. in my kitchen. my clean no crumbs for a mouse to live off of immaculate kitchen.
but we're done. it's caught, and i'm fine. til the next day i hear strange noises coming from the kitchen. sh**, seriously? i'm going mental now for real, and i make james set another trap. for 4 days i'm hearing this seriously creepy sound coming from the kitchen and i'm losing weight because i'm not hanging out near the pantry. james thinks i'm crazy, but on afternoon 4, he sees the noisemaker scurry across the kitchen, so he sets a different kind of trap (oh i should have said with the 1st, we used a no kill trap and james released him into the back brush. this no kill kind didn't suffice for mangy creeper #2 so we used a sticky trap). #2 finally got its tail stuck and ran the f around the kitchen clanking away for james to chase and eventually trap under a recycle can and scoot outside. yeah! the mice are gone!!
i come back from a retreat the weekend before last, and on monday evening i put a frozen food box in the trash. big deal, right? only in the morning, when i went to put a yogurt cup in the trash there were what looked like mouse droppings in the GD frozen food box from the night before. i was leaving for chicago, and told james about this. while i was gone, he said he heard a noise, and took out the trash with something moving in it. freakin 3 mice people. in my clean home on the 2nd story of an apartment complex!!!!!!
why am i spending all this time telling you this story? well, because this afternoon, while doing the dishes, i found a new mouse trail ON MY COUNTER! WTF???!? i'm totally spazzing out. i now think they must enter from our pot smoking community college neighbors unit and find they only have beer and stale chips, so they venture to our place, but we're clean, and we don't leave food around, or on the floor, or on the counter, or anything - especially after finding #1 2 weeks ago. i don't know what they're getting into, where they're staying, when they come out, i'm flipping freaked the f*** out like they're going to come out of the shower drain while i'm taking a bath or climb into bed with me and nibble at my toenails (but i'm taking precautions - i'm sleeping in socks with my pants tucked into them and a turtleneck. oh, and with my bra on and shoes right next to the bed so i can get outside real quick and not be flap happy while escaping the 4 ounce creepers from who the F knows where as they try to invade and take over my home and family. h's bedroom door is kept safe with draft snake so they can't eat her fingerpads off while she sleeps).
so, anyone have any tips on keeping them out of our 2nd story, clean apartment, please let me know. i'm about 10 hours from calling management of this place to have an exterminator out. so sick. ew.ew.ew.ew.ew


Anonymous said...

Ew is right! Ive seem your kitchen and can testify to its cleanliness. I hope you can get rid of them soon so you can relax.. : )

ruth said...

Btw, previous comment was from Ruth.

kari said...


Katie Berger said...

You need to contact the building managers. That's an infestation and it's their responsibility to handle it IMMEDIATELY. That's one of the nice things about renting vs owning. It's the owner's responsibility. Go get 'em & good luck!

Anonymous said...

You can also buy those electronic things with the whatever frequency that only rodents and spiders can hear... I would suggest calling the management, then buying one of those things for your own peace of mind.