Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I miscarried today. yup. it sucks.
the most difficult part of it to process is that both james and i seemed to know we wouldn't be meeting this baby, kinda from the beginning. and, even though i had been spotting on and off for the last 2 weeks, there had been no signs of it becoming this bad. yet, all day today, i had a feeling i would miscarry today. no extra spotting - in fact, no spotting at all for 2 1/2 days. i just woke up and thought, if it's going to happen, it will happen today - and it did. at 515pm. i saw it, james saw it, we are 100% sure. sheesh.
we are thinking we might bury it after hazel is asleep this evening. we may or may not start trying for another baby sooner than later. it takes a while to process, and every month i'm not pregnant, i start thinking what's wrong with me that this doesn't happen, and when i am pregnant, i am fearful of this.
i have been pregnant 3 times and have one child to show for it.
sheesh.

2 comments:

Rachel said...

crap liz. don't even know where to begin. i've been there. worst experience of my life. and really, there's nothing i can say or anyone else that really helps or means much. so we'll pray for you and james.

Kathy Slattengren said...

I just read your news. I'm so sorry that you lost the baby. It's such a difficult thing to go through when you have so many hopes for this new child.

I had a miscarriage when trying for our second child and I was really crushed. We were fortunate because we conceived Blake the next month and he turned out to be a healthy baby boy (due Christmas day!).

My thoughts and prayers are with you.