Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I miscarried today. yup. it sucks.
the most difficult part of it to process is that both james and i seemed to know we wouldn't be meeting this baby, kinda from the beginning. and, even though i had been spotting on and off for the last 2 weeks, there had been no signs of it becoming this bad. yet, all day today, i had a feeling i would miscarry today. no extra spotting - in fact, no spotting at all for 2 1/2 days. i just woke up and thought, if it's going to happen, it will happen today - and it did. at 515pm. i saw it, james saw it, we are 100% sure. sheesh.
we are thinking we might bury it after hazel is asleep this evening. we may or may not start trying for another baby sooner than later. it takes a while to process, and every month i'm not pregnant, i start thinking what's wrong with me that this doesn't happen, and when i am pregnant, i am fearful of this.
i have been pregnant 3 times and have one child to show for it.


Rachel said...

crap liz. don't even know where to begin. i've been there. worst experience of my life. and really, there's nothing i can say or anyone else that really helps or means much. so we'll pray for you and james.

Kathy Slattengren said...

I just read your news. I'm so sorry that you lost the baby. It's such a difficult thing to go through when you have so many hopes for this new child.

I had a miscarriage when trying for our second child and I was really crushed. We were fortunate because we conceived Blake the next month and he turned out to be a healthy baby boy (due Christmas day!).

My thoughts and prayers are with you.